Chelsea Handler

i saw my idol, chelsea handler perform this weekend...
and then i stalked the stage door afterwards...
apparently she answers to the word "vodka"...

Bill and Me

the secret service tackled me to the ground soon after i posed for this photo with bill.

my awesome niece sasha

my niece is better than your niece for several reasons:
1. she is super cute
2. she is super smart
3. she loves me (who wouldn't?!?)
4. she made me a deeeeeelicious birthday cake

my new hobby - amateur papparazzi photog...this house belongs to a certain ex-wife of billy joel. like a real papparazzi i'm not going to mention any names, but she just went through a messy divorce with peter cook.









i find that wintertime is the best time to get your papparazzi on - since all the leaves have fallen - giving you better views of your subject matter. the only problem is there are few places to hide when you are staked out in the woods...and hiding behind a pine tree can get a little hairy with the pine needles and all. my suggestion - put some ornaments in your pocket and if you are ever caught hiding out behind said pine tree, just pretend you are decorating it...

my xmas card picture...(not shown in the photo - santa grabbing my ass...just look at his expression...he's grabbing the reindeer's too...just look at the reindeer's expression...)
gotta love a reindeer with a scarf on...

i am published!!!! click here...

watch out Anderson Cooper....i'm comin' for ya...

animal exhibitionism...