Classy.
NEWARK, Ohio - A 28-year-old man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.
Police in Newark, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
Police in Newark, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.Police released the 911 tapes, revealing the calm exchange between the driver's friend and the dispatcher."I got a friend who wrecked a bar stool," the caller said.
When asked by the dispatcher whether he hit his head inside the bar, the friend replied, "Um, no, he was riding the bar stool ... a motorized bar stool."
Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.
My nominee for "Fashion Designer of the Year"
meet Randy Constan: my nominee for "fashion designer of the year"
watch out giorgio armani, here comes randy constan. randy is a unique designer who bases his fashion trends on his ultimate idol: peter pan.randy explains it all with the following quote from his website pixyland.org: "But why Peter Pan you ask? Although Peter pan is definitely a boy, to me this character is perfectly androgynous, and in his eternal childhood rejects the idea of growing up and leaving this behind."
with the idea of an eternal childhood in the back of his mind, 53 year old randy creates his own indistinguishable style which he likes to share with the people in his hometown of tampa, florida.
here are some of randy's unique creations:
although there were many peter pan outfits to choose from, this "woodsy little green pixie" version was by far my favorite
"blue dancer" (front)
"blue dancer" (back)
"purple pixie"
"green cheerleader"and last but certainly not least, a few selections from randy's everyday wear...
"power-puff boy"
"wooded elf"
as you can see from the images above, randy's designs are eclectic, imaginative, and versatile! that is why i am nominating randy constan for "fashion designer of the year"...for more fashions by randy visit here.
my American Idol recap
ok...i can't tell you how HAPPY i am that Jasmine aka "pageant queen" went home last night! my pillow has more personality than her. and my pillow can sing better, too...
i was really hoping slumdog millionaire Anoop would "Jai Ho" his way out of the show. he's way too cocky for his curry pants. i'm so not a fan.
i'm a little sad that Jorge went home, but i mean how many ricky martin/marc anthony sounding renditions can we hear in one season?
and paula REALLY needs to up her meds some more...she's not slurring enough for me and its starting to really bother me. you'd think that Kara Dio-who? would slip some mickey's in Paula's "Coca-Cola" in hopes that paula would pass out during the live taping. then the producers would have to prop her up like "Weekend at Bernie's" until the show was over...
i like Megan, but i don't think i could have just one arm with tattoos on it. i'd feel real lopsided and probably start walking in zig-zags...the rocker dude Adam is great. but someone needs to tell him that black nail polish on guys is so 4 seasons ago....
Deep Thought of the Day
If this is a Smart Car...
Then is this a Dumb Smart Car?
At least I have my car phone handy...
Top 5 Things I love about New Orleans
5. Yo Mama's Bar & Grill
4. Fun with Crawfish
3. Huge Ass Beers - To Go
2. Pirates...
Pirates...
and more Pirates...
1. Only in New Orleans will you find a drunken Clown walking down the street drinkin' a Budweiser tall-boy...
Woman has 911 meltdown over McNuggets
FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
A police report says 27-year-old Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.
only in florida...
A police report says 27-year-old Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out."This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one," Goodman told police. "This is an emergency!"
A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.only in florida...
MY NEW HERO
Woman uses wedgie to subdue car thief...
It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car.
It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car.Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.
The third time, Morris grabbed hold of the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police said she then she put a headlock on the man until help could arrive.
now that's what i call a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am"...
fun with homemade tattoos...
a permanent marker is all it takes...
pirate is the new black...
i love it when i see this tattoo on mean bikers...
pirate is the new black...
i love it when i see this tattoo on mean bikers...
ALEC BALDWIN and ME
last night i went to see alec baldwin speak about his new book on divorce...i know, not a happy topic, but the man is funny. we were able to fill out questions on index cards and i was tempted to ask him if i could have the recipe for "shweaty balls". but i thought the crowd of upper east siders who clearly the first election they voted in was Teddy Roosevelt wouldn't have appreciated it. so i opted out of my question and just sat back and laughed. about divorce.
susie bought the book afterward, and i waited in line to get it signed. he was very quick with everyone, but when it came to my turn he asked me a bunch of questions (ok 2 questions) and we must have spent 15 minutes together (more like 15 seconds) and everyone else in the line was super jealous (only the woman behind me because she was large and in charge and needed food soon or she would collapse right on top of alec and show him the true meaning of "shweaty")
anyways, we shared a very intimate moment together...i told him i was a young aspiring writer, and that i think i would make a great addition to 30 Rock (alright he only asked me my age, if i had been divorced, and did i find the book helpful...) it was magical and i think he was so taken by my brilliance that he invited me out to pizza afterward...
(ok, he didn't so much as invite me, but we happened to grab a slice at the same spot across the street. but i was there first...) anyways, i think a-bald (we have nicknames for eachother now, he calls me nisnice) and i really understood eachother and i can't wait to work on his next movie with him (or go see it at the theater around the corner)...
susie bought the book afterward, and i waited in line to get it signed. he was very quick with everyone, but when it came to my turn he asked me a bunch of questions (ok 2 questions) and we must have spent 15 minutes together (more like 15 seconds) and everyone else in the line was super jealous (only the woman behind me because she was large and in charge and needed food soon or she would collapse right on top of alec and show him the true meaning of "shweaty")
anyways, we shared a very intimate moment together...i told him i was a young aspiring writer, and that i think i would make a great addition to 30 Rock (alright he only asked me my age, if i had been divorced, and did i find the book helpful...) it was magical and i think he was so taken by my brilliance that he invited me out to pizza afterward...
(ok, he didn't so much as invite me, but we happened to grab a slice at the same spot across the street. but i was there first...) anyways, i think a-bald (we have nicknames for eachother now, he calls me nisnice) and i really understood eachother and i can't wait to work on his next movie with him (or go see it at the theater around the corner)...
The Michelle Obama purse
i may not be going to the inauguration, but at least i have a cute purse to rock-out around town. or not.
i used to think that only republicans were prone to hideous fashion faux pas (see below), but i guess you can attach democrats to that title now. 
oh and for you party girls out there, the Michelle Obama purse also comes in a cute little clutch for all those inaugural balls!
i used to think that only republicans were prone to hideous fashion faux pas (see below), but i guess you can attach democrats to that title now. 
oh and for you party girls out there, the Michelle Obama purse also comes in a cute little clutch for all those inaugural balls!
Chelsea Handler
i saw my idol, chelsea handler perform this weekend...
and then i stalked the stage door afterwards...
apparently she answers to the word "vodka"...
and then i stalked the stage door afterwards...
apparently she answers to the word "vodka"...
my new hobby - amateur papparazzi photog...this house belongs to a certain ex-wife of billy joel. like a real papparazzi i'm not going to mention any names, but she just went through a messy divorce with peter cook.
i find that wintertime is the best time to get your papparazzi on - since all the leaves have fallen - giving you better views of your subject matter. the only problem is there are few places to hide when you are staked out in the woods...and hiding behind a pine tree can get a little hairy with the pine needles and all. my suggestion - put some ornaments in your pocket and if you are ever caught hiding out behind said pine tree, just pretend you are decorating it...
i find that wintertime is the best time to get your papparazzi on - since all the leaves have fallen - giving you better views of your subject matter. the only problem is there are few places to hide when you are staked out in the woods...and hiding behind a pine tree can get a little hairy with the pine needles and all. my suggestion - put some ornaments in your pocket and if you are ever caught hiding out behind said pine tree, just pretend you are decorating it...
Race to the White House (Via Your Driveway) 2008
every weekend these two signs move closer and closer to the edge of their driveways...the McCain driveway actually had two signs side by side but it "accidentally" fell 
down while i was trying to get the perfect picture. then somehow that same fallen sign was swept away by a hefty wind and landed in the trash can at the Target parking lot. come on now, do two signs mean you really really want McCain to win? or does it mean you really really are an ass?
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